by Ben Kling

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These are whatever. You might like them.


released September 15, 2010



Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.


Ben Kling Brooklyn, New York

I’m a freelance animator, illustrator, web/graphic designer, musician, and writer.
I'll let you punch me for ten dollars.

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Track Name: Take a Bath in Cake
Caroline and Lindsay, Happy Birthday
I hope you celebrate your birthdays in the right way
Don't need no presents, no cards; don't need a bouquet
There's just one thing you have to do

Take a bath in cake!
Take a bath in cake!
Take a bath in cake!
Take a bath in cake!
You can shower in the batter girl
It doesn't even matter
Take a bath in cake

If this is wrong, then I don't want to be right
Just want to partake in this cake and party all night
Don't be a nay-sayer
Cause it's a hundred-layer
With extra icing
Girl, it's so enticing

You can have your cake and eat it, too
You can be in it while it's in you
Take a bath in cake

Take a bath in cake!
Take a bath in cake!
Take a bath in cake!
Take a bath in cake!
From your head down to your ankles
Rub your armpits with some sprankles
Take a bath in cake

Take a bath in cake
Take a bath in cake
Take a bath, take a bath, take a bath in cake

Take a bath in cake
Take a bath in cake
Take a B.A.T.H bath in cake
Track Name: You And You And Me
You've got my heart
You've reeled me in
When we're apart
Can't wait to see you again

You brighten up
The darkest of days
Any words I find will be
Inadequate praise

You make me feel whole
You make me complete
I figured that the two of you'd eventually meet

I know we're meant to be
You and you and me

You and you and me
Could live in three part harmony
It's ABC, Do Re Mi
The Jacksons had it right, we can all agree

With a trio you can try untraditional tricks
Forget 69ing, we can try and 696
We're meant to be
You and you and me

You bring a half smile to both sides of my face
Together you and you and I can go to eighth base
Babies I can promise you I'll do you right
And I'll call you babies again
Because it sounds really weird in the plural
And I'm realizing that.
It sounds like I'm referring to actual babies.
Just to clarify, I'm not a pedophile.

Cause it's the three of us: you and you and I
We can make it if we try-y-y
My heart won't last a minute if I can't have you two in it
Got an atrium and a ventricle for each of you

Like Cerberus, the three of us are better than two
The Musketeers and Stooges did it, ladies we can too!
We're meant to be
You and you and me

Oh what can I do to make you two swoon
We could go for a date on a hot air balloon
But we'd have to take turns, because the hot air balloon
Can only hold two people at a time
So we'd have to flip a coin to see who goes up first
And leave the other behind
It's kind of like the riddle with the chicken and the fox and the grain.

I was made for you (and also you)
You were made for me (and you were, too)
So there's only one thing that we can do
And it's really only legal in Utah, baby

Well tie the double-knot and we can all be wed
And then we'll rest our heads in a triple bed
We'll all be nice and warm and we can disregard the norm and
We can do it like the Mormons, 'cept we won't be insane.

They'll pronounce us man and wives
And we can start to plan our lives
We'll fly-ii to Hawaii for our honeymoon
And you can be the little and the middle spoon

Tea for three
And two for me
Me for you
And you for you

And you,
And you
For me

Daisies, Daisies
Give me your answers, do
I'm two halves crazy
All for the love of you (and you)

It won't be a fancy thing
You'll have to share the ring
But you and you'll look sweet
Sittin' upon the seats
Of a bicycle built for three

For you and you and me
We can sail across the sea
In a love boat, crew of three
We can sail to gay Paree

Je vous aime
(tous le deux)
And I want to be with you
In a ménage à vous
Et vous et moi

A ménage à trois
à vous et vous et moi

We're meant to be
You and you and me

(And maybe him)
Track Name: I Kissed a Girl (Twee-Mix)
You know 'em.
Track Name: BRODY
1975 this bad motherfucker was born
With an organ so big he could star in porn
His proboscis was preposterous when he came out the womb
When the motherfucker dies it's going to get its own tomb

You thought his nose was big? Guess how big his cock is!
"I read somewhere that he was friends with Andy Milonakis."
EH! Time's up! The answer is: colossal.
It could plug up the Mariana Trench, or one of his nostrils

Bitches love his swag, they can sniff out an impostor
Like the jail in Arrested Development he has got one Oscar
Got an eco-friendly bank account: his wallet is the greenest
In the club he sais "Ladies, who wants to see the pianist?"

Parties like a champ; motherfucker's uninhibited
His capacity for cocaine is Darjeeling Unlimited
Haha, get it? Another fucking nose joke
He motherfucking blows coke
And his udder makes the hoes choke

Yeah I said udder, did I stutter? He's got four cocks.
That motherfucker's junk could penetrate Fort Knox.
And did I mention his ability to snort rocks?
"Plus he voiced a character in the Fantastic Mr. Fox!"

Did I mention his nose yet?
That sexy smell-o-scope that makes all the hoes wet?
How very jealouscope the tiny-nosed bros get?
His aquiline is mighty fine, like pharaoh Amen Hotep

"It's pronounced A-MEN-hotep."
Shut the fuck up.

So here's to the man who entered King Kong's lair
It's time to make a sacrifice, now bow your heads in prayer
He's gonna save us, gonna free us from the cage we in
He's the messiah of the Holy Church of Adrian

Our Father who Art in LA
There's a wave across the galaxy, he's comin' our way
Fuck the Alpha and Omega; he's the AB--Alpha Beta
He's our master and creator
Doing lines around the equator

If you defy him you ain't never getting by him
It's dasvidaniya; his nostril's on ya
He'll Genghis Khan ya, you're day's will be done
He'll nasally stun your ass; it's crazily fun

He's our Obi Wan Kenobi
The Garfield to or Odie
The Morpheus to our Niobe
The Michael Scott to our Toby
Quid pro quo: he's Adrian Brody