Seinfeld: The Musical

by Ben Kling

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Festivus Lyrics On december twenty third You would remember if you'd heard That is the date we celebrate this great absurdity Not just the birth of Eddie Vedder That’s great, but this is even better Let’s coalesce together close no roasted bird or tree What could this be What do we call it Makes light our hearts But not our wallets A conservative alternative to mainstream holidays It’s Frank Constanza’s Festivus You bring along a guest who must Partake in the unrest with us Confess what blights their soul So have a blessed festivus Invented by the stressed and fussed That once a year the best of us Could raise a metal pole Then we air our grievances Elaborating to great length The ways our kin have peeved us, yes And then we hold the feats of strength And when you’ve pinned your father That’s when festivus is over But if you just get smothered Then I guess…it never ends! We’re celebrating festivus Cause Weltschmerz has infested us When faced with Christmas zest Disgust’s a thing we can't control So have a friend at festivus Express at the behest of us The reason they’re distressed with us, Shortcomings to extoll Won’t you invest in festivus No need to be obsessed with us You only need request and just Like that you’ll be enrolled So have a happy festivus The feast set for the rest of us For once a year, the best of us We raise a metal pole


released December 23, 2014


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Ben Kling Brooklyn, New York

I’m a freelance animator, illustrator, web/graphic designer, musician, and writer.
I'll let you punch me for ten dollars.

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